Once upon it time, my friend Annie & I thought it would be a grand idea to do a detox with one another. Initially, I was excited. I was curious to see how it would affect my body, if it would truly "make me feel lighter"--I was doing it more so for that effect rather than to lose some poundage. It's day 6 right now, & can I just say...it is not worth it. It may have helped in that it made my appetite smaller (because when you go a whole day eating only non-starchy vegetables the last thing you want to eat are, well, vegetables.) & on day 5 all I could eat we're tomatoes & chicken...I hate tomatoes. This little thing just reassured this within myself. The texture. The taste. Barf. My body feels exhausted. Maybe because I get no sleep, but the fact that I'm pretty much eating nothing has got to have something to do with it as well. It's made me crave mexican food (I know, what???). I feel like I have been snacking nonstop for the past 6 days, not ever getting to eat an actual meal. Oh & apparently this helps you to lose 10+ pounds (like I said though, wasn't doing this for that), I have lost maybe 3? I don't even know. I'm just exhausted, & wanting a sweet pork salad from cafe rio. That is all. Come Monday, cafe rio is mine. It's too late to quit now, I would have wasted a week of my life. So I'm powering through it. But next time someone suggests doing a detox or anything of the sort with you, here's what I have to say:
1. Do not trust pinterest. Talk to a doctor or dietician & find out what would work best for your body if you were wanting to do some sort of cleanse.

2. Make sure you understand what you're signing yourself up for by committing to do it. Yea, you can quit halfway through but who wants to go an entire 3(or more days) not eating delicious meals just to quit...yea. Just know it sucks in the first place.

3. DO NOT use this as a method to lose weight quickly. For starters, most of the weight that comes off is water weight, & also you're going to gain it right on back the next week by returning to your more regular diet. Sure, make adjustments to eat healthier to help keep a lot of the water weight off, but it's not an easy or permanent weight loss strategy. Doing something like this entirely for that purpose is called starving yourself. Yea, you'll lose weight, but will you be healthy? No.

4. Stay away from bridges, skyscraper rooftops, & sharp objects. I'll let you think about that one on your own.

5. Avoid having males ask you on dates. You know how awkward it is to tell a guy "sorry, I can only eat bananas and yogurt today, so let's avoid going out to dinner"?..luckily the guys who I went on dates with, or had the privilege of explaining this heinous process to we're gents about it & could laugh about it with me. Or at me. Probably mostly at me because I'm a fool!

6. Keep yourself busy & distracted so you don't have to think about all of the delicious meals you could be eating.

7. Do not do this alone. It helps to know someone else is having to endure this horrible process too.

There is my advice fools. Overall I'm glad I did this (as much as I've hated it)..in that I feel it is good experience for me when I am someday a dietician. How will people want to listen or trust what you say when you haven't gone through it yourself? I've learned that I love food more than I ever thought. & that cleansing, yea it may be beneficial to your body, but why not just eat healthy in the first place? Don't limit yourself to certain food groups for an entire day. Eat the things that will give you the proper nutrients and energy that you need. Promise you'll feel better about yourself. No cleanse is gonna change your world. The end.

(I've put the cleanse I'm currently participating in at the bottom. I do not recommend it. So if you choose to try it, do so at you own risk)


I'm outie.