i was doing some late night reflecting [which i have a tendency to do at the late hours of the evening, while laying snuggled under my wolf blanket] about what my life has been like in the previous years this same time around. looking at my most recent and most nearby journal i was able to trace back 3 years of my life to this same time.

MAY 2009
I was about to turn 16. I was attending davis high school, not enjoying my time there so much, but happy nonetheless. OF COURSE I had a crush on a ridiculous boy who turned out to provide the start of many learning experiences that were to come. I used to write lyrics in my journal [judge me] and i had about a 6 liner written at the bottom. I was a noob, who was unbelievably young and blind. I was such a drama queen, I'm not sure if I was in real life, but hoooly cow. Did I really write all of this cheesy gunk? I used to let myself get hurt too easily.

MAY 2010
I was about to turn 17. I was attending layton high school, enjoying myself very much. However, my boyfriend had just broken up with me [yea, the week before my birthday] and I was still a little fragile about that. My birthday of course every year is around memorial day weekend and so no one was in town. I was kind of down because I had no friends to celebrate with, and my boyfriend had just broken up with me. Well, my awesome sister Kelsie & my fantastic friend Mia managed to pull of a surprise party. I literally cried. Silly, but this is one of the moments in my life I look back & feel the most grateful about. I remember the now ex-boyfriend showed up to the party, fashionably late and acting a bit like he ruled the world, & i wasn't too thrilled about that, but I felt so grateful for the amazing friends I had that I just got over it and enjoyed myself as I should.


MAY 2011
I was about to turn 18. Summer and graduation were quickly approaching. I was at this time trapped in the most dangerous situation I had ever allowed myself to be in. A situation which brought me down lower than I've ever been before. Stuck in a painful cycle of manipulation, equipped with a self hindering blindness and what seemed to be no way out, I cried a lot this time around. I wasn't happy.

MAY 2012
I was about to turn 19. I had accomplished one year of college. I felt proud of myself. I [with the aid of my Savior along with many other great examples] had escaped the threshold of a situation that seemed to have an indestructible grasp. I had turned my life around and become the kind of person I wanted to be. Of course with scads of things to work on as well. I knew that it was okay to not be perfect. I had met some incredible people [including in this short time of being home], people that have a lot to offer & this time around I was willing to listen. I was happy.